Aries & Aries Rising
As things clear between us I learn how to let go without giving up. I learn how to honor what is and honor what is not. I learn how to take responsibility without taking control. Sometimes the only wisdom that I have access to is letting go of my need to be right. Sometimes the only thing to know is that I do not.
So I stand here without much in the way of a defense. I stand here in front of my feelings, in front of my pain, in front of my stories and I give up the fight. I give up the fight so that I might understand this phase of the regenerative process: letting go. I know that fearing the dark is just another trick of colonization because the dark was always seen as an imperative part of the healing process. Through transformation and regeneration I am renewed.
With this knowledge I learn how to surrender without losing my power because I surrender to what is right and holy and dear to my heart. I forgive where and when I can. I look into my wounds instead of away from them and I know how to pick up and leave once I have gathered the information they contain. I cannot save a drowning aspect of myself or anyone else by jumping in the deep end with it/them. I can however, choose to see the strength inside the wound, the abilities that have always been there and the righteous talent that has otherwise been forgotten and by seeing that I encourage it to rise to the surface.
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Taurus & Taurus Rising
Once I have come clean to myself and to those that love me I realize that there is an abundance of forgiveness. I realize in this process of mending fences that my biggest fear is that I might not be able to forgive myself. In my darker moments I fear that I am beyond reproach, that I will be cast out, that I will be forgotten, that I will not have made an impression on the hearts of those I have loved. These are the secrets that feed on my fear.
But this week I am the eye that beholds the love and redemption that is necessary for this next phase in my evolution and I do this through my partnerships.
I am willing to search for what is forgivable in you so that I automatically search for the same qualities in myself.
You are not a monster and neither am I but this requires that we both do some work on ourselves. It requires that we take a good long look at all the ways in which we might wish to blame, shame and try to tame another into our idea of who they should or could be.
I let you be you because I let myself be free, times three. This week is serving real wisdom through my encounters with those I feel deeply tied to. This might feel like a loss. This might feel like a closing. This might feel like a light that has gone out. But lights always find their way back on again. I trust that and I trust you too. Not with the things that are mine to do. Not with the things that are mine to take care of. I trust you with your own life. I trust that you always find your own way, with your own connection to wisdom, truth and beauty. How you get there is none of my beeswax. The most important thing that I can do is gracefully, patiently and steadily help myself through the dark and the healing process it provides me.
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Gemini & Gemini Rising
I pay extra attention to my relationship to health and well-being. I am not afraid to overdo loving-kindness in this area. There is no such thing.
I use the regenerative power of my sexuality to help in the healing process. I know that consciousness-raising is at the heart of engaging in a sexual ritual and so I enter every sexual fantasy I encounter with that desire front and center. What others have told me about my sexuality being shameful is their shame projected onto me, which I kindly give them back now. I can and willingly embrace all of my erotic nature no matter what others have made into a taboo.
This week I get to witness the connection between the power of my creative energy and my ability to heal. The adventure of healing myself is mostly out of my hands save staying intensely committed to observing myself throughout the process. Watching and witnessing how I find my way towards balance is my most sacred of duties. Because I pay attention to what is arising I am never bored.
My mind is a powerful thing to use against myself therefore I do not. I notice the thoughts that accompany pain and the pain that accompanies some of my thoughts. This mindfulness helps me to steer myself out of perpetuating more pain because I am here to heal.
I am here to heal again and again and again.
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Cancer & Cancer Rising
Love is magic. Love is terror. Love is every hope and every wish I have ever had (sometimes standing in the flesh opposite me).
Love is here and no where else.
I do not betray myself in the face of Love. I do not wish to sell myself down the river or run screaming in the opposite direction. I choose to stand here and take this sacred opportunity to transform my understanding of intimacy because if I let fear stop me now I’ll have to do this whole song and dance all over again. And my dance card is full.
There is no getting out of this so I get into this. I get way into it. I put everything I have into it and I therefore get knowledge out of it. I get knowledge out of it and am transformed by it because I am wise to it. I know that this is no small deal.
Love transforms me because I am not a passive player. Love informs me because I am willing to be wrong. Love calls me in because I am willing to walk through the door.
I am a warrior who only fights for what is right. Otherwise I wave the white flag and throw my hands up. I don’t spend my erotic energy on meals that do not have love as the main ingredient.
Nothing is fair in love and art but I can always stop to take care of myself.
Suffering gets no soft light or melodramatic music in my play. It’s a part of the performance at times, yes, but I cannot stop at it. Suffering might induce great creative currents but so does a leaf alight with the fire of fall colors falling off a tree. The whole world sings to my inner artist when I open to it. And I am, because this too is love.
Because Love comes in all forms. Because Love comes down every avenue when I remove the road blocks to it. Because love is always the main ingredient in everything I cook, this week and all weeks, it is all I taste.
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Leo & Leo Rising
Ok, so. These are not things to be waving about in the free-wheeling halls of Facebook or in the too bright Friday night lights after the bar is good and closed. Dirty laundry needs to go in the washing machine because I respect my privacy and my emotional process enough to deal with it at home. Until I have worked it through enough to share it with you. I do that with a great amount of consciousness.
But this. Oh this. This eclipse, this moment of darkness that reveals itself to me comes bearing the unending fruits of psychological material from my way-back past. From my time before time. From memories that I shared with the walls of the womb I came from. The things I heard and things I learned there. From the sound waves that found themselves to me through a thick fluid sack. From the light patterns that informed my earliest awakenings of optic nerves and from the smells, from the feelings, from the tempo and the temperament of the one who carried me. This eclipse awakens me to this wondrous and weird knowledge.
I might not know entirely where it is from once it arrives. I might not understand the inklings, the hunches, the knowings and the memories. But I will trust what arrives. I will take note of the stronger feelings and the overwhelming responses and I will know that if something is pulling me under it is also pulling me into a piece of my past that is demanding my attention and refusing to let me go.
I know that when I make the conscious connection between what is happening now and what was happening then, the feeling no longer has the same kind of hold on me. Every feeling, every memory, every dream that haunts me is only searching for my understanding. It’s a piece of my puzzle that needs to be placed among its counterparts so that I might have a better, fuller, more complete picture of my healing.
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Virgo & Virgo Rising
It’s another deep week so I come equipped with my heart in hand, learning cap on, note pad and pen primed, ready to go. I come to learn and to teach, because the two are inseparable.
I am the host, the co-host and the guest on the talk show, Deep Thoughts & Real Talk. I have some good stories to tell so gather round my fellow travelers and grab a snack. The truth takes time to unwind.
I am not interested in artificial facts claimed by self-appointed masters of my fate. I flip birds to paradigms too cocky to see their own demise. I know that history will have me standing on a side and so with every word, every thought and every story I tell I choose which side I wish to be remembered on.
In loving memory of Ms. Lorde I remember that my silence will not protect me. My bitterness, my fear and my intolerance will not either, so I don’t cast stones. I don’t need to. I simply draw the truth with everything I do, for everyone to see. It’s up to them whether they open their eyes or not. I trust the truth and so I don’t fret over which way will be the most right, I just choose the way that is right for me and let everything else be.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small contribution to keep the art alive.
Libra & Libra Rising
Nothing right now is happening for arbitrary reasons. Every single thing that I need for my next birthday year is unfolding in front of me. This doesn’t mean that everything will stay as it is. What it means is that I have already chosen the entry point to my next great adventure and I am now in my first few feet into the maze. Even if I wanted to turn back and start again, the entrance has mysteriously grown over and all I can do is move forward.
And Mercury (retrograde) moves (backwards) with me (forward). The Trickster. The Magi. The patron saint of liars, salesman and thieves. The one at the crossroads, the one that says, “The choice is yours, don’t blame me if it’s the wrong one!” And I don’t but I do move forward cautiously as this ground has already been tread and I am going back over it in search of anything that I might have dropped or not seen my first few steps into my new year.
Money issues may abound but money is a trick we all decided was real, so I look below the issue and wonder what the real lesson could be. I hold strong to my self-worth which is not at all connected to my financial worth. To fall for that trick would send me back to square one. And I wasn’t born yesterday.
So I use this eclipse to remember that above, beyond, below and in the heart of this problem/issue/moment lies another reality. A reality that doesn’t define me by bank balances but by the balance of my character and my actions, my integrity and my love for others and my self.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small contribution to keep the art alive.
Scorpio & Scorpio Rising
It’s my moon, it’s my birthday soon and it’s my party so I’ll shed my skin if I want to.
But I don’t just take off the layers because that’s what all the cool kids are doing. This is not child’s play. Like Inanna’s descent down into the underworld and through the seven gates, I shed each layer because I must. For my healing. For my unfolding. For my growth. I shed the layers cautiously because I don’t do this kind of work haphazardly. I do this work, this work of peeling back the years of my identity because I am not afraid of what is under my armor. I believe that at my core I am good and I know that on the way to that goodness there are many mischievous monsters to face. I’m OK with that.
In fact I look forward to knowing these co-stars more consciously. I look forward to knowing myself more fully. I look forward to being more engaged with the totality of my being and finding fulfillment there.
Thursday’s new moon/solar eclipse is my initiation. It’s the universe’s gift to me. It’s the gift that will keep on giving so I want to be sure that I am using the week, the day and the energy with great skill. This moon opens my year. The age that I am about to turn will most likely be marked as an important one where secrets about myself will be revealed to me.
I make self-inquiry an intricate part of my celebration. I do not fall apart at the honest look I get of myself. I rise up in the loving gaze I see myself with. I rise back up.
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Sagittarius & Sagittarius Rising
If there was ever a time to understand my subconscious motivations the time is now. I will not be satisfied with surface answers, slight of hand tricks that my mind likes to play or mere facts that do not address the distorted truths in the back rooms of my mind.
There are rogue black holes that wander through the galaxy swallowing up everything that lies in their path. They are thought to be from the infant days of our galaxy. My past wounds are like this when left unconscious and unaddressed. They wander around consuming whatever lies in their path if I am not willing to wake up and see the truth of what is going on. Infantile rage, sorrow and neglect can swallow up the better part of my life if I refuse to acknowledged it (mine or someone else’s). This week lends me an extra ounce of courage, not to battle black holes (cause there is no winning there) but to see them and not pretend that they aren’t there. And love, these days and this heart needs copious amounts of love.
It takes the courage of a thousand Athenas to become aware of my blind spots-which is exactly what I have with me this week. I see my own culturally appropriate great protectress with me, guarding my safety, guiding my every move, giving me hope in the face of energetic garbage disposals, black holes and bleak nights of the soul. A heroine is someone who can go on the harrowing journey and withstand the forces that would rather have her fall to her knees in despair. Though she may do this at times, the heroine stays connected to the deity that belongs to her. Borrowing hope from the ever abundant source of strength that accompanies such a connection. I have such a connection with me and I remember it now.
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Capricorn & Capricorn Rising
Sometimes relationships reincarnate within one lifetime. I give all of my friendships and romances of more casual natures more room to roam if need be. I take a moment this week to consider the very real possibility that I might have no idea about what others do or do not feel towards me and I stand firmly by the principle that if someone hasn’t said something to me then it isn’t for me to know, judge or extrapolate upon.
I’m just going to assume that some relationship dynamics will be a mystery to me this week and I am committed to being ok with not knowing all the pieces of everyone else’s puzzle. 99% of the time it’s just none of my business anyway.
I will not take things personally. I will remember that I have no idea the burdens that others carry and how painful they may be. My fortune is in my ability to transform the effects of the fluctuating tides of other people’s moods into a recommitment to what I am doing, where I am and what needs my attention in the moment.
I put my focus where my feet are as I consider how to best serve my fellows and my friends, fostering future allies. Much is turning over this week both in my career and in my friends and allies that help me in my career, so I take extra precautions to consider how I might be able to offer my wisdom to others, even if that means staying far enough away from drama to see it clearly.
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Aquarius & Aquarius Rising
I hereby declare that I devote myself to discovering the truth of who I am, I devote myself to living out that truth and I devote myself to fighting for that truth every time it needs defending. I do not in any way cower from that charge. Instead I see myself as aligned with a mighty energy that is completely devoted to helping me do so. This is a public endeavor for me. I demonstrate who I am becoming to the world whether it is ready for such a show or not.
It’s time to peel back any false layers of who I might feel I need to be in order to reveal who I am to be. As I do this I am gifted with more energy, more energy to perform such tasks and more energy to have the insights needed to further my development. This is a regenerative process, a positive feedback loop.
But it takes courage to seed the dream and though this is not new territory for me this week holds a potent (re)activation of it. In fact it’s like a recommitment to the authority that I have been granting myself and the responsibility that I have been taking on. This is a good time to pause and see if I am still aligned with my inner values or if I have been swayed by public opinion, lured by public approval or bought out by a bigger corporation. I always have the opportunity to rescind my offer if need be. My relationship to my work in the world is as near and dear to my heart as any other and I treat it as I would any other lover, with respect, love and a great amount of care.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small contribution to keep the art alive.
Pisces & Pisces Rising
An act of activism is an act on behalf of those that suffer injustice. An act of activism can be a spiritual act. An act of activism can also be a wildly misguided one. This week when I am challenged and when I want to be challenging I will stop first to consider what would be best, not just what I feel like doing.
Understanding my perception is everything.
Night vision is needed here. My mind might play tricks. The spot light might be obscured and therefore the meaning might be blurred-but only for a moment. The confusion is part of my eclipse experience. It’s honorable to act on behalf of others but not if it is for my glorification.
The wisdom I receive this week is the kind that can purify the poisonous. This week teaches me that magic is real and there are mighty mysteries at play. I have a front row seat. It’s time to reset my understanding of universal truth. I’m open to not knowing. This eclipse is about emotional wisdom and trusting the process along with it’s natural ebbs and flows. I don’t flounder, I find my flippers and my fins so I can swim with the tides that pull me to and fro in the wilder waters of this season.
*My work is entirely funded by my readers – by you – to keep this a community-driven advertising-free collective space. If you like what you read each week, if you find solace or inspiration in these words, or if you just appreciate the occasional pep talk, consider making a small contribution to keep the art alive.